It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
