We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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