absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
