Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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