As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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