i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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