Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
