i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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