It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
