How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
