Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
