If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
