office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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