I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
i've created a new STD.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
