Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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