It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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