It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
