I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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