You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
