He is such a slut. More and more my type.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
this just has baby written all over it
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
