I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
