I hate all girls vehemently.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
