Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
When did angry sex become our thing?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
