My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
