If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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