I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
