Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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