just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We have so much sex to catch up on
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
