Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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