I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
