soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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