My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize