having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
