before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
