we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
