She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
