Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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