fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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