Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
