i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
