There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
from now on my penis is your penis
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
