yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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