I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
