these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
