So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
