Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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