nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
