this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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