that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
