I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
