what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
