My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
