What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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