i just wanna soil my oats bro
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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