i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
