but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize