yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
