Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
