So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Buhtt sex?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
