HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
