Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
