I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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